life

ASKING FOR HELP

help2

help2

For the seven years before ACS and I moved in together, I lived alone (well, with Oscar, then later with Zadie, but you know, they’re cats). And I got really used to it, even though I often made the joke that I could take care of myself and my felines and pay the bills and generally act as a functioning adult, but sometimes couldn’t crack open a jar of marinara sauce by myself. I’m sure you know the feeling. Point is: I was, for the most part, pretty independent.

The move to cohabitation was pretty easy–it felt like the next natural step, and it really helps when you genuinely like the person you’re living with–but this arm injury, a fracture of my radial head if you care to know, has thrown me for a bit of a loop. Where I used to be able to get dressed by myself, and pull my hair into a ponytail without any assistance, thanks to the nature of this fracture, for the next month I’ll need help. I can’t carry anything heavy in my left hand and I have to type like a Tyrannosaurus rex thanks to the sling. It could be way worse, and I’m admittedly being a bit of a baby about it (in typical Leo fashion, I like being the center of attention and sympathy), but man, sometimes it’s annoying to not be able to fully use your arm. ACS will sometimes hear me make a noise of frustration when I’m trying to do something and call, “Do you need help?” and more often than not, my response is a quick, snappy “No!” even though I actually might. Asking for help–asking for anything, really–is apparently no my strong suit.

But if there’s one thing I learned in my 20s, it’s that you have to ask for what you want. And I think an offshoot of that is asking for help. So that’s what I’m trying to take away from this injury: That asking for help is OK, and in fact, it’s a really good thing to be able to do. (And also that it’s really, really nice when people want to help you.)

Do you have trouble asking for help, or is it something that comes easier to you than it apparently does for me? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Photo by i.anton

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Alicia | Jaybird Blog
    February 16, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    It’s funny but working with high school students is what has taught me to ask for help. We tell the kids this all the time: ask for help with academic work, questions about forms, personal struggles, etc. Through that and my personal experiences this year, I’ve learned the same lesson and become more practiced in asking for help sooner than I used to. It has been so, so important to have some of the help I’ve asked for this year, from a friend to go car shopping with me to a bf to come over after a scary experience.

    I’m glad that you have someone at home to ask while your arm is healing! I don’t think cats would be quite as helpful. 🙂

    • Reply
      Megan @ Pink O'Clock
      February 17, 2014 at 3:38 pm

      What a great lesson you’ve learned! That’s awesome. And I’m glad you have such a great support system, too. xox

  • Reply
    Sarah | For the Love of Chow
    February 16, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    Such a nice reminder. I don’t mind helping others, so why oh why is it so hard to ask for help?!

    • Reply
      Megan @ Pink O'Clock
      February 17, 2014 at 3:37 pm

      Yes, exactly…for me, maybe it’s scary to have to depend on someone? (Kind of relates to my philosophy regarding group projects: I’d usually rather do it myself.) But it really is good to be able to do ask…

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