Design

hope is the thing with feathers.

January 6, 2011

i hope you guys will indulge me with a few more posts on my current career situation. getting back out in the job market again is a really weird sensation; i moved on from my last full-time job without a gap in employment, and while i am doing consulting work, i now get to pick out what it is i really want to do. it’s scary and exciting and liberating, and while i promise not to talk too-too much about it here, i do want to share my thoughts and feelings on it all with you, especially because i know many of you are, or know people who are, in the same position.

for some reason, i keep coming back to eat, pray, love (don’t judge). i’m not sure if it’s because i recently rewatched the movie, because i’m feeling like i need to get away for awhile — maybe even relocate someplace new — or because i just really admire elizabeth gilbert’s conviction that she needed to truly recreate her own life to be happy and give fully to others. whatever it is, it’s a recurring thought.

for the last two months, i’d been pretty checked out — from my friends, from my family, from my life in general. i tried not to show it here, but i started to develop an apathy towards my life, and those of you who know me in real life know that apathetic is not something i am. so it was scary. i started wondering if maybe i was depressed — if maybe i should see a therapist; be on medication. that’s why the following dialogue from the movie version of eat, pray, love really resonated — it’s a conversation between liz and her best friend, delia:

delia: you have a support system here, liz! you have friends and family who love you.
liz: and do you feel my love for you? my support for you? no! there’s nothing! i have no pulse!

exactly. that’s exactly how i felt.

the good news is that i’m starting to get my pulse back. i’m scared about next steps, but i can’t stop thinking that this is an opportunity. in the past 24 hours, i’ve gotten numerous emails about both full-time and part-time work from my own support system — it’s overwhelming in the best way possible, and i feel so utterly grateful and humbled. i’m starting to feel that my life is my own again; that i want to love and support my friends and family again the way they love and support me. and it’s an amazing feeling — like emerging from a cocoon and seeing and feeling sunlight for the first time in months. so if any of you are going through the same thing right now, i just want you to know that there is light, and even though it may not feel like it right now, i promise you will feel its warmth again.

xoxo


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  • Reply
    em
    January 6, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Look at you go. You sound super positive about this whole situation. Even if you have had a blip as of late.
    Sometimes a shock to your routine like this, can be the best thing for you – i found an amazing job after being made redundant!
    And if you can’t indulge and vent about your job situation in this your space here, then where can you? x

  • Reply
    and flowers pick themselves
    January 6, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    i really love the honesty in this post. it’s inspiring. thank you.

    πŸ™‚

    xo Alison

  • Reply
    Mo Pie, Please
    January 6, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    Beautifully written! I am in the same position – I quit my job back in July and am still unemployed. I kind of gave up on looking though because a) we’re moving out of Chicago in the next few months as soon as we find a house and b) I really wanted to figure out what would make me happy versus what would bring home a paycheck. My last job was a job I stuck with only for money. I got greedy and I hated myself for it. My husband found a job that he both loves and makes good money at and I’m so happy for him but sort of jealous at the same time even though I benefit from it too. But I have figured out what I want to do – I want to open my own boutique as soon as we have settled in a new city. SO now I’m just in job limbo and I’m trying to soak it all up before it passes me by! Good luck figuring everything out!

  • Reply
    stephanie
    January 6, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    Great post, Megan. Your outlook and good attitude are really, really inspiring! I can’t wait to hear what the future brings you. xo.

  • Reply
    McKinze
    January 7, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Good for you for choosing to see this an an opportunity (because it is a choice!) instead of something that is happening to you. I have a feeling you’ll be fine. πŸ™‚

    (Also, don’t know if I’ve commented before – thanks for the lovely blog. I read all your posts on reader!)

  • Reply
    megan
    January 7, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    thank you so much, guys! your support means the world to me. so glad to have you as friends and readers! xoxo

  • Reply
    Colene
    January 17, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Long time reader, first time poster πŸ™‚ And a little late at that! Just wanted to chime in to say that I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling like you’re back on track. It makes all the difference to get your mind thinking that way before everything else falls into place! good luck!

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